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Alas In Wonderland – Off With Their Heads…

Published February 7, 2014 by Information General

A holiday to Cape Town is the scene of yet another hysterical event, though perhaps not as calamitous as what we have come to expect from my friend, even so, this story deserves to be told, ‘cos it is rather funny.

I want to take this opportunity to lay a foundation for the story to follow. While in school, my friend and I would have sleep overs every weekend and some week nights. She would come over to my home and I would visit hers’ on a regular basis. Even though I would be spending only a weekend at her home, I would arrive at school with three bags, to last from Friday to the following Monday, and though this was initially questioned, it became the norm. Not that I had 15 different outfits packed, I often didn’t have everything I needed! One such weekend, I arrived at school with all of one bag! Half way into the morning classes my friend could no longer contain her irritation, as she had thought I had forgotten that we were spending the weekend together. I proudly and rather dismissively replied: “I learnt how to fold.” Neither of us were any good at packing, folding or hanging away our clothes, but we could tell you exactly where any item of clothing was at anytime, even though they covered the bedroom floor and any other space that was within reach!

neon openWith this in mind, I want to transport you to the holiday in question. Possibly 17 years of age, when they arrived in Cape Town, they were eager to get out and explore the city and its offerings. Staying a stones throw from the V&A Waterfront, of course this was their first port of call. The exact amount of time they spent walking the vast, brightly lit walk ways of the center, is unclear, but it is sure that when they eventually returned to their rental home, the sun had long time set and they were shrouded in darkness.

Something had alerted them to there being an irregularity at the home, so in stead of attempting to enter a potentially dangerous situation, they called the local police, who wasted no time at all to come to the defense of three ladies; Mum and the sisters.   Bears

The police commended them on their wise thinking telling them that by calling the police, they had done the correct thing. The two brave constables, guns drawn entered the property. The ladies stood a safe distance and discussed the possibilities. After watching the flash lights shine beams through the windows, the ladies eagerly awaited the police constables report. Fortunately, they said, there was no one in the property, but they were very sorry to report that the one bedroom had been ran-sacked and they would have to go and have a look, touching as little as possible, to identify the stolen items.

Of course, the ladies were devastated, and tentatively stepped into the holiday rental. Holding their breath and praying that nothing too sentimental had been taken, they climbed the stairs to the bedrooms above. Only SketchGuru_20131126043802once they had entered the bedrooms, did they come to realize that they had not been burgled, and nothing had been taken; the bedroom in question belonged to my friend. She had only been in the holiday home perhaps 30 to 45 mins, but she had covered her bedroom floor with every item of clothing she had brought! 


Alas In Wonderland…The Time Has Come The Walrus Said, To Speak Of Other Things…

Published December 18, 2013 by Information General

This addition to the compilation of calamitous events, will be a little different from those before, though very relevant to us all. And much of this,I am quite sure, my sweet friend would have performed on more than one occasion!

So, settle in to these other things, like cabbages and kings.


Perhaps it is only my generation and only the female portion of that generation, that often portrayed themselves as being older than their actual years. Or perhaps it happens in previous and subsequent generations as well.

I remember, at age 10 or 11, I just wanted to be 16. This was a dream to live for!

Then at 13 or 14, 16 no longer held as much intrigue as did 18, and 18 became a new goal. This held, until I actually turned 18, at which time, nothing had really changed. 21 held no real excitement, other than now, I was held personally responsible, by law, for any and all the decisions I made. Scary.
30 Was a wonderful year. Things started to make sense. I actually, for the first time, truly accepted myself, which resulted in my acceptance of others. Possibly the best year of my life. The years between 30 and 37, should be the place where everyone stops aging!

We’re mature enough to be responsible, with compassionate understanding of the world around us, level-headed enough not to put ourselves into unnecessary danger, with bodies still young enough to enjoy all means of physical activities. You’re no longer the teenager who believes they know everything, or the elderly who have forgotten everything.

Age brings with it memory loss. You know what I’m talking about. You’re halfway through telling a story, then forget where it was leading, so try to divert the conversation so as not to look as though you’re losing your mind. Someone steps in and starts a new discussion, offering you much needed reprieve and then, as if by magic, you remember the conclusion of your tale and try bring it back into conversation. Not realizing, that the group had changed and no one had any clue what you’re on about.
Or when you’re asked the name of a book, movie, actor or actresses and know that the answer is somewhere hidden within your cerebral cortex, but it just won’t drop. You go through the entire day trying to coax the answer down, to no avail. Then at about 1:30 in the morning, you sit up, loudly exclaim the answer, with no explanation, causing your spouse to have a near death experience, due to fright and guaranteed hours of confusion as a result of your outburst. And then, if you have a considerate spouse or one who keeps note of important things; and I mean keeps note, with pen and paper, on your next birthday you open up your gift to find either a copy of the book, movie or DVDs starring the blurted out actor or actress. Leaving you confused as to why they would get you this, because of course, you will have forgotten about the incident.

A lot of time is spent walking from one room to another to collect something, only to forget what it was halfway there. So you return to the first room when you realize that what you need is in the other room, so you make your way back, to stand there while your family or colleagues ask you; “what you want? Why are you here?” To which you reply; “I don’t know.”

Children aren’t like this, that would explain why they maintain such a youthful complexion, they don’t furrow their brows trying to remember things, ‘cos they don’t have to. They have a walk, a purposeful walk, not like the adult shuffle, but a determined stride that catches your eye. So you ask; “why you going over there?”  And without hesitation they reply; “because I’ve got a harmonica.” “what are you doing with a harmonica?” You ask. “I’m going to put it in the toilet.” The youth replies. “why?” You ask, to which is replied; “enough questions, I’m in control of it.” Remember teenagers are of the belief they have all the answers, and this deliberate act had probably been thought out for a full 5 or so minutes. Who are you to argue?

There is a point, as our bodies start reacting slower to the impulses sent from the brain and we experience pains in places we never realised we had, so instead of wanting to be older, we start wanting to be younger. At 50 we claim we’re only 40 or 45. At 60, only 50 or 55 and at 70 we try to convince others we’re all of 58. Your children become younger too. You couldn’t very well have a child of 28 if you’re only 40!

Some wish to be younger in body, but to retain the wisdom we believe we’ve acquired throughout the years. An unfair advantage, on every level on an unsuspecting world as a whole. Boys would have the stamina and capabilities to out work fellow colleagues, to positions of seniority within businesses, though not as sexually active. While girls would be wise to the lies of boys who are in their sexual prime, but wouldn’t care, as they had recently only blossomed into their sexual prime. Becoming “cougars” of a younger age, with a better sense of preparation than that of a 20 year old.

Eventually, the acceptance of age catches up and one no longer tries to out-wit it. This could of course, be as a direct result of the fact that we’ve forgotten how old we actually are!